This Was A Testimony That I Wrote Last Year. In times Like These I Really Want To Be Reminded Of How He Loved Me And Never Forsaked Me! So I'm Posting This Here For Me And For Others Reading That You May Be Blessed. Know That Someone Cares!
In my Days of Darkness…God is There
by Jesselene Liew
A few months back, I was on a down in my walk with God and it angered me so much that I was on the verge of giving up in Christianity. On 14 July, Cheryl asked me if I was going for the worship ministry Pre-Service Prayer (PSP) but I hesitated because I did not want to go as a hypocrite. However, I went after spending like five minutes or so procrastinating outside the room, as there was something strong from within that was nudging me to go. It was there that the presence of God was so strong and real that I broke down and cried my heart out. I did not really know why I broke down in that manner but it felt like my spirit was crying out and that I had a sudden hunger and thirst for God! It was really hard to describe but anyway I felt very embarrassed and left the room after PSP, hoping no one would ask any questions. I was kind of self- conscious about this thing, though I did not know why I should be.
During service that day, something amazing happened. God answered my prayer of showing Himself and speaking to me in a way that I was never spoken to before. Visions!
I saw a person in a white robe but I could not see his head much because the background was too bright. I then saw a girl between five to seven years old running into his arms and shouting the name "daddy"! As she did that, she started to cry. When the father wrapped his arms around her, something strange happened!
Shadows emerged from her back. The first one was mild, the second one bigger and the third one was gargoyle like. The last one was a huge ugly one with big feathery wings like an owl but way bigger. It was horrendous! Suddenly, all of them disappeared due to the glorious light of the father. At that moment, I felt a sudden gush of joy and comfort. I was home at last.
The next week, I saw more visions of God. During the Saturday worship, God professed his love for me and affirmed it. I saw Him embrace me with loving hands and telling me that He loves me so much, even during the times I was down in the dark. Amazingly, he never gave me up and I felt a love that I had never felt before. Then He danced around me with joy and I danced with Him! How I wished I could enjoy His presence every day and I know that this can only be if I seek him more.
The following week, it happened again and this time I was back dancing with Daddy. I began to question why everything bad was happening to me in my life and He said I was not letting go of all my baggages. I realised I was not ready to trust God enough and questioned myself why I was not. Daddy then picked me up and placed my little feet on His big feet and hand in hand we walked around the "room", like how penguins do with their little ones. He said that if we walked like that all the way, everything would be alright.
The week after that was healing service and I saw myself sitting down, knee to chest talking to Daddy! I just had a very stressful week and everything seemed to be going wrong. I failed my exams and was having endless conflicts at home. I was tired and weary! Then I saw Daddy come and sit next to me. He took me in His arms brought me to lean on His chest and rocked me like a baby! I know it was funny but I felt peace and joy. He kept reassuring me not to worry and reaffirmed His love for me. He told me that everything was going to be alright and it felt wonderful!
Recently, I had a heated argument with my mother and sister. It was dreadful especially when it was just after church. All I could do was cry to God till I slept. I woke up early the next morning and grabbed my guitar and started worshiping God. I do not usually do this everyday but well I did and started crying all over again! I was lost and angry and asked God for a vision again to prove that He was still there and had not abandoned me. I then saw a kindergarten and parents waiting for their kids at the main gate. I saw a girl aged three or four running to her Daddy's open arms. He asked me how my day was and I told him it was bad. He picked me up and carried me like a baby and said that I could cry on his shoulders and tell him my problems. I clanged my arms around Daddy's neck and started sobbing again on his shoulder as he carried me. We were going home but what really amazed me was the fact that he answered my prayers.
Kudos to our God's amazing love!
